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Beating a Dead Elephant in the Room, or Closing thoughts on 2018

January 6, 2019 By Bean Leave a Comment

Forgive me for my title. On one hand I feel as if there is nothing more that could be said about any of these things that’s going to matter, and on one hand I feel the weight of lingering solutions to the problems we all (still) aren’t talking enough about.before this moon cycle ends, with the New Moon January 6th, I would like to send 2018 a final farewell with a list of 18 things I would like to banish from the world.

I invite you to add a comment with your own contributions of things you’d like to banish!

Waiting passively.
We all keep watching Washington like it’s the only thing that can fix all of the problems. And it’s not. The government CANNOT fix all our problems. If we are lucky, they will do a couple of good things that make a lasting positive difference for anyone who isn’t already rich and white. I certainly am happy and hopeful about the diverse group of women and men who took their seats in the House on Friday, but we can’t all just sit back now and wait for things in our country to improve.

If we keep waiting for the legislators to come in and fix everything (including some things on this very list), we will die waiting.
As we keep ourselves uninformed and ignorant and easily manipulated by only listening to Them, They will continue to step on us….
Self-Doubt, Self-Deprecation, Self-Loathing. Especially done by women.

Please stop saying those bad things about yourself! Please listen to the things you say about yourself, and do everything you can to stop saying them. You are not stupid. You are not ugly. You are beautiful. You are learning the lessons you need to be learning. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. You cannot achieve perfection and no one is expecting you to. Please, just stop talking bad about yourself. In public, online, especially in front of children…even in private, just stop. You deserve better than that. (Try talking to yourself the way you talk to your best friend!)
Saying “I’m sorry” and all the other ways We make our Self feel small or unworthy.Just pay attention in a day to how many times you hear women (and children) say “I’m sorry” when they’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.I’m sorry, but can I get some help?
I’m sorry, can you please speak up?
I’m sorry, I have other plans.
I’m sorry, I’m just not interested in explaining to you why I’m too busy and/or not interested in going out with you.

Can we all please stop apologizing for our very existence? Why are we apologizing for our needs?If you are just trying to get someone’s attention, let’s bring back saying things like, “hello” and/or “excuse me.”

I read something about this a couple years ago which said to replace the I’m sorry with a thank you; Instead of “I’m sorry I’m late”, say, “Thank you for waiting for me.” It’s a pretty subtle thing, but it might just be what it takes to make you not feel like a burden on others.

There are times when apologies are absolutely necessary, but being human/being imperfect/having opinions/having a bladder…. Are not any of them.
Food deserts.
Men who fear the #MeToo movement.
Racism.
I don’t know how to say this in a way that people will listen, but here’s one more attempt: We, as a species, look for similarities in EVERYTHING. We give human traits to dogs and elephants and flowers and…even electrical outlets smile back at us. Yet, white people as a race fail to see the similarities between themselves and People of Color.Just think about that. We find similarities in EVERYTHING….why would we naturally choose to “other” other people? Other human beings who DO have everything in common with us? Here’s a hint: it was manufactured because the people in power were afraid of an uprising, so they made enemies of white and black people. Systems have been put in place every since, and around the world, to maintain power.
Over consumption of meat.
If you didn’t personally hunt it or raise it or know the person who did, I don’t think you should be eating it. I say this as someone whose father raises delicious Colorado beef (email me if you’d be interesting in buying some!) so I understand I am in a complete position of privilege and bias when I say this, but truly, that factor is the main reason that I even still eat meat. I know the animals my father raises are well treated, well fed, and well respected in their life and death, and any time that I or anyone else eats meat, I want it to be under those circumstances.
White-Supremacy
And all of the ways White People hide behind their whiteness and white saviorism and …….White Women who call themselves allies but do not raise up the voices of women of color, indigenous women, Muslim women. Women who call themselves feminists but who aren’t working on dismantling their own overt and innate racism and biases……People who hide Confederate flags in their closets, or wear them proudly on their cars…..People who make excuses for Brett Kavanaugh and are pissed at Kaepernick……
Shaming others.
White people blaming their problems on immigrants.
Complaining about whatever in your life isn’t making you happy instead of doing something about it.
We all have choices to make each and every day. Staying at the job you hate, staying in the town you despise, spending time with people who don’t bring you joy, etc. etc., each of those are a choice every single day. You have agency. You have authorship. You are in control (unless you are under 18 and living at home–in that case, wait it out, and be sure to breathe, and exercise, and eat right, and floss your teeth while you are waiting–your life is going to become completely yours soon, if you choose to make it so. It will be worth it!) Enough with resolutions and getting down on ourselves and giving up and thinking this is just the way it is. Every day you make so many choices to do this…or that. Making one choice on Jan 6th doesn’t mean that you have to make that choice for another 359 days before you can do it differently. We have agency each and every day. We have authorship. We are the writers of our own stories.I also know that I am saying this as a privileged white person. As I write that, I think, would a single mom, a person of color, have the same agency to quit the job that she hates, that is making her unhappy? Not without getting something else first, no doubt. I know we don’t all have the same problems and that all of our problems won’t have the same solutions, but all I’m trying to say here is that if something is not right in your life, don’t just accept it. Do something about it. For more, see #1.
Ignorance.
WE THE PEOPLE have a responsibility to do better. Be better ancestors. Read more books written by and about people not like you. Support each other, stop competing with each other. And stop. living. in. your. own. damn. bubble.
School shootings.
Migraines and all chronic pain.
Careless waste.
Fireworks. Plastic bags. Glass jars. Wrapping paper. All the food we throw away. Wastes of time. Something I just discovered called LOL dolls. Do you know how much plastic wrap one of those things uses?We have agency in creating the world we want. We can all do a very simple thing to prevent companies from making things like this anymore….stop buying them!!!
Obsession with profit over People:
I’ll just carry on from the above: I am so tired of the profit-seeking, capitalistic, greedy-ass Americans. Upon learning that milk is not good for adults and that many of us are intolerant to dairy/lactose, something that causes inflammation and is linked to chronic pain (arthritis and IBS to name a couple), instead of these greedy, corporation owners just saying, –OK, we had a good run. Let’s take our insanely high gross earnings and invest in something else. –Maybe something healthy? -Sure, Bob, let’s invest in something healthy and then doing that, they say, -Oh shit. We better learn how to sell an idea to the population that milk IS good for them, or better yet, let’s keep mass producing milk and mistreating cattle to keep extracting the gross amounts of milk we harvest every year and chemically treat the milk (you know, I have a friend in the chemicals business) so that it really isn’t natural any more, and tell people that IT is good for them!And that’s not the worst part—people believe it. It’s like they choose to believe it. (See #11) It’s easier to just keep spending the money on the crap and spending more money on medicine or simpler yet just to be content in our discomfort that instead of making something else for breakfast, like maybe some vegetables and protein, we continue eating overly processed grains shaped into squares with Their fake ass dairy-free milk. What is wrong with us???
Big pharma over natural health remedies.
Supporting the top-earning corporations.

Ok, so my relationship with money has changed a lot in the last year. May this year be the year that yours does, too.

People buy so much shit they don’t need (AKA lactose-free milk) and support companies whose values we don’t really believe in, (AKA companies that test on animals, or companies that, I don’t know….hire rapists as their CEOs, wherever you draw the line…) and then sit around and complain about what our world has come to.WE the PEOPLE allow, and at times encourage, this terrible stuff to happen. We MUST make smarter choices with how we spend our money when we must spend it. We must vote with our money, and make smart choices as consumers. More than anything, Money speaks, and though we all have different amounts of it, and therefore some have more power than others, we do all take a stance each and every time we spend money on something.When we go to Target or Walmart when we need a new spatula instead of to the 2nd hand store, we are telling the producers that want them to keep making new plastic products.When we throw away Tupperware every 6 months because we microwave too much in it and the plastic gets all nasty…we are telling the producers that want them to keep making new plastic products. We are telling Mother Nature that we don’t care about polluting her. Abusing her.

When we make a decision for our company to allow animal testing because we want the additional profits by selling in China, or when we know that a company does that and we still buy their products because “it’s our favorite,” we are taking a stance, voting, condoning, encouraging these bad behaviors that are ruining our planet.

Mother Nature is a Source of Life, not a resource. People are one of her gifts. Please, in 2019 let us all work on banishing the ills of society that we had to witness through 2018.

I could carry on and on about each of these things, but…I feel like I’m beating a dead elephant in the room, so I will just leave you with this:

WE the PEOPLE must do better. And here’s the good news….we CAN do better!

If you’d like to talk more about any of these “to be banished” items, or want to add your own to the list, just comment below!

Be Not Quiet

October 30, 2018 By Bean 1 Comment

More than one of my family members–the people who raised me, encouraged me to spread my wings, watched me bloom into this magnificent woman that I am–would like for me to just be quiet. They have unfollowed me, disengaged from me, are disappointed in me, afraid of me.

I will not be quiet about my disgust about what is happening in my country right now. I will never be quiet about the ideals I wish my country to uphold. I will never be quiet about demanding respect for the disenfranchised and marginalized.

I will not be quiet. Even if you aren’t reading this anymore.

I will not be quiet.

Bystanders are quiet. Quiet is how genocides happen. Polite is how holocausts happen. Nice is how evil gets in. We fight evil with love, not with nice. For anyone who has been a parent, you know that love does not always mean nice. Tough love. It’s not only hard on the recipient.

You should be ashamed of yourself if you aren’t speaking out about the horrors happening here in our country. Students resuming classes the same day a fellow student is killed. Jews being shot and killed in their place of worship. Black people continuing to be murdered for being black. Fuck this shit.

You should be outraged about the things our people are doing to others. We destroy each other in so many ways over and over again. We have to stop. We must be better ancestors.

I don’t care if I make you uncomfortable or if you stop following me, or whatever. I will search for every single way to say this until people start to listen. I will not be ashamed for my actions. I do not feel shame to tell every single bit of my truth. I have made the offer before, and I will do it again. Ask me anything. I am an open book. We have to be open to telling the truth to each other. I believe that is our only way forward. I know I am nobody from nowhere, that people don’t know my name yet. Why should you care about my truth? I admit that I am fallible, and making mistakes is normal, but that we must always do our best, for that is when goodness is returned to us.

When I say goodness I do not mean politeness. I do not mean niceness.

I mean honesty, kindness. Fucking dignity. Polite is bullshit. Polite is what got so many of us to think Obama’s being President meant we weren’t racist anymore. Polite is what drove those KKK motherfuckers, those fucking neo-nazis underground so the rest of us could not HATE on them. Instead, they have been infiltrating our system from within. They have had the time and space to redesign their brand to make it more palatable.

Being nice can suck my balls.

If you’re reading this, you have one week to get your ballot in. We must put an end to this nonsense.

Vote for black women in this coming election. Vote for women of color, Indigenous women, Mexican-American women, trans-women.

Follow black women. Support businesses owned by black women. Invest in them, personally. You say you are too busy and don’t have time to get involved, but would just ”write a check” if you could. Here’s a link. Did you donate?

Here’s another.

I know I’m being bold right now, and if you’re reading this, maybe you are nodding in agreement, or maybe you don’t like my tone, but fuck that shit. We women have been too polite, and it costs us too much; We need to speak up and say every. single. Thing. We need to do a better job of educating everyone about their options and make participating in this so-called democracy easy. We are at the place in history when it is time to get America right. WE, The PEOPLE are stronger than The government. The government is broken. I think most of us can agree that neither “SIDE” has it right.

The system is broken.

Don’t be part of it by subscribing to “your party” without thinking about what they really represent, who represents/sponsors them. Choose people who will support democracy, will support your values.

The most fundamental part about being American is WE THE PEOPLE.

THAT’S why we have the 2nd amendment, so we can defend ourselves against our government. Not against our neighbors.

Let’s make sure to raise up the people who are going to be best for each state government and come together to make real changes happen. There are so many ways to support leaders, and now, when we can activate and engage and elect the best leaders for the future of our nation. The future we want our children to be brought up in (not the one our parents were brought up in.)

People want us all to be polite and PC instead of being honest and kind. Fuck that shit. You know what honest and kind leads to? True compromise. Uncorrupted compromise. If we were all honest and kind, (instead of hiding behind being nice and polite) we could actually promote and achieve equity in our society,…….instead we are encouraged by our leaders (in both parties) to to be mean and cruel and evil and unhealthy. They want us to fight with each other. They want us to feel desperate so they can control us with their money and their hidden agenda. WAKE UP, PEOPLE!!!!! Take our country back from career politicians, white nationalists, from old men.

I believe so much in a better world. I can see it. I daydream about it. I write about it. Yet, when I check in with my body, I realize my shoulders are up next to my ears in stress or my breath is caught in my throat with worry. When I look at the world around me, the society around me, I know that we are a far way from that world of my dreams…when I think about our history, I see that we have changed, but I am not convinced we are better, so maybe it’s just that we are still changing. Still evolving.

It’s like the United States is a person in their late teens/early 20s, someone just beginning therapy, trying to break their bad habits/survival techniques while simultaneously finding new ways to self-sabotage and occasionally relapsing back into some truly terrible behaviors like being a racist, and realizing that they were abused by their uncle (Sam) and might have sort of pushed someone too far by not taking no for an answer soon enough. (Kavanaugh, cough, cough)

I’m a pretty fucking positive person, but I also have some dark/morbid fears about our world. I’m a realist, and my door is cracked open to conspiracies; People are fuuuuuuucked up. I’ve been through some shit, but I don’t let it get me down. I carry on with my head held high. Some say high-horse high, but all the better for them to kiss my ass. I’m tired of being polite. Let’s be real.

I am positive it’s the only way we are going to get over this shit. I could carry on about my ideas to save the world all day, but I’m out there trying to do it instead. Sometimes it doesn’t look how we expect it to, but one thing I’ve learned is to let go of expectations and follow the path. I know my path has been far less difficult than many because I was born a white woman in the U.S. I know most people can’t take time off work to explore their path and recharge after just 8 years of teaching. I worked very hard throughout school and won many generous college scholarships. Because of these awards, as well as need-based assistance, I was able to graduate college with far less debt than most people of my generation. I have no children and no pets (though I really want both!). I don’t own a car, so no car insurance, nor any property, and I live in a small apartment that’s attached to my father’s workshop/garage (he’s a farmer), so my expenses are quite minimal.

After Trump was elected, I fell into a depression. I didn’t think it was really going to happen. I really thought Hillary Clinton would beat him. A fear nestled and an anger hatched inside me that morning. I had moved to Brazil just 4 months before the election, before President Trump happened, and after I got through the sadness and the denial, I got angry, and I wanted to move back to the U.S. to take action. I couldn’t though, because I was there on a two-year contract which I would not break. I made the most of my time there, but I felt very far removed, far away from a great many problems which I wanted to….want to… be a part of solving.

I wanted to be there marching on Jan. 21, 2017. I wanted to attend the Black Lives Matter meetings, the NoDAPL protest, all of it. I wanted everyone to understand how terrible I felt about a country which could elect just a bad man. I don’t care if you don’t like Obama, but you cannot honestly say that he was bad unless you are brainwashed.

He had to be extra good in order to win that seat because no black person could get anywhere in this country with a record like Trump’s.

There was this illusion that the U.S. wasn’t racist anymore. Hooray. And then we turned around and gave the seat back to a bad white man, whose past we would have never forgiven on the transcript of a black man. Black men have been murdered for doing far less disrespectful things to white women than Trump has done to his own daughters and wives.

If you do not support Kaepernick’s stance, you are a coward who would have also probably supported slavery. Punishing a black man for a peaceful protest and calling it protesting disrespect of the flag/soldiers when white people break the flag laws all the time, is downright racist.

Punishing black people or any people of color more harshly for anything a white man does is racism.

Insisting Kavanaugh was just a kid at 17 and shouldn’t be held accountable for his actions but consistently charging black youth as adults for a variety of broken laws, is fucking racism.

I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired of the polite people who have paved the way for the world we live in now. Wake the fuck up. Get engaged. Vote those racist assholes out of office. Take back the House. Speak out to and against the racist and bigoted people in your life. We must stop them.

Be not quiet.

#vote #votethemout #fuckingvote #fucktrump #fuckwhitesupremacy #votefuckers #notyourmamaselection #trump #blacklivesmatter #supportwomen #democracy

To my Hive of Strong Women Everywhere

October 23, 2018 By Bean Leave a Comment

This post is dedicated to all domestic violence survivors: Abuse doesn’t have to leave a bruise. Also, you are stronger than you know.

https://www.thehotline.org/

Domestic Violence Hotline #
1-800-799-7233

Dear sisters, friends, friends’ sisters, sister’s friends. Dear mothers, lovers, teachers, dreamers, leaders:

Today, I call out to you for your collective strength. You are all my hive, without whom I could not be where I am today.

I would give away all of my money, all of my possessions, everything, if it would guarantee that all people after me, every single woman and man, would have an equal say. I would honestly give my life for that. Millions of people already have given their lives, yet without resulting in the ideal We promise: Liberty and justice for all….Land of the free. Still, we do not honor our word; Consider this my first public taking of the knee.

There are people around the U.S. right now being denied from voting. Democracy is dying. We are not doing this properly. Come on, US! In some countries, everyone must vote; in Brazil if a person doesn’t vote, (they may abstain only by appearing on election day and reporting it on their ballot) they endure a small fine and are ineligible for government employment.

Yet here, in a country founded by THE PEOPLE for THE PEOPLE, voter suppression is a very real and systemic problem. I would give my life if it meant putting a stop to that problem once and for all. For Native Americans, for Black people and People of Color, for elderly people, for criminals, everyone should have ease of access to the polls.

I know I cannot fix this problem alone, and nor can it be fixed before this upcoming election. Nothing is immediate. This is why I’m reaching out. I can’t fix this, nor any of the other problems, alone. But I can activate, empower, and encourage other women to raise themselves up out of the shadows so that together we may reclaim our space, and bring up this nation. (But only if all women do this together. White, Black, Indigenous, all Women of Color, we Women must do it together. White Women: we’ve GOT to do better at supporting non-white women.)

I need you, sisters. I need you all. I will give it everything I have.

Right now, my plate is full with many amazing learning opportunities and giving endeavors. I am investing my time in mastering these learnings so that I may be a better ally, advocate, and ancestor.

If you are able to, please invest in me. Send me a note of encouragement. Invite me over for a meal or tea. Come out on your day off and volunteer with me. Refer me to your friends and neighbors to hire me for English tutoring or babysitting or dog-sitting jobs so I may continue to have some flexible income. Make an online donation to my gofundme page. OR simply send me a good thought. I’m sending you one, right now.

To all the strong women before me, with me, and after me: Thank you. I love you.

#whyIkneel #votersuppression #vote #votethemout #womensupportingwomen

Learning the Gears

August 9, 2018 By Bean Leave a Comment

They say about riding bikes, you never forget, but what if you’re 31 and never really learned in the first place? And what if the bike has 24 gears?! Eek!

It’s one thing to pedal up and down mostly straight, flat roads, but we’re not in Weldona anymore. Navigating 24 gears in San Diego county is a whole different animal. But, this is the Tour of Hope, after all, so let’s remain hopeful!

I will start by saying Z is way stronger than I am. She’s been running and exercising regularly for most of her adult life. Me? My exercise comes in the form of need-inspired walking, sporadic stationary biking (no shifting required), the occasional strength circuit, periodic bouts of yoga, and isolated incidents of bedroom calisthenics. My quads and hammies are not up for all this pedaling, but they’re getting there!

We’re making rookie mistakes, for sure, as we cruise up and down the hills in La Mesa. Accidentally going up hill in high gear, not shifting down soon enough before the hill, skipping gears when we don’t mean to. Still trying to figure out the trick in timing to take that sweet momentum off the hill up the next one while being in the best gear….not quite there yet.

So far, an 8-mile round trip is the longest ride we’ve done, and it truly filled us with hope. I took my time on the hills, was patient with myself, and never had to walk the bike, so that’s a success! It’s still a long way to go before we head out to a powwow 140 miles away next month, but we’re going to make it.

Despite the unforeseen plot twist, we are still planning to attend the upcoming powwows around San Diego and LA. We will volunteer at these traditional events to gain a better understanding of each community and seek input from the elders and other community leaders about how our program can help meet their needs. This will be invaluable experience to inform our program development.

Additionally, I begin my own self-defense training tomorrow! Z is already a trained instructor, but I will be investing my time in learning combination martial arts, defense-based kickboxing, and whatever else I can fit into my schedule next to the bike training.

Something else we are working on is finding a piece of land for a workshop space. Or rather a person who owns land they’d like an office and garden on. We will build a small, sustainable, office/living space from reclaimed materials, complete with a rainwater filtration system and garden and compost system, if they like, which we will build, maintain, and leave the landowner with once we no longer need it…we just need someone in San Diego with the right space and the interest and willingness to let us work there for no exchange of money. Please let my know if you are or know of such a person.

So, I’m super hopeful about that, and look forward to building a tiny office in the near future!

It turns out that starting your own non-profit/service-based program is a lot like learning to ride a bike!

Giving up to carry on

August 7, 2018 By Bean Leave a Comment

Hello friends,

I just watched this cool video from a man I look up to a lot. He reminded me that I am currently living in the state which produces more food than any other state in the U.S!

This and some other things Rob Greenfield touches on in this episode have inspired me to change how I eat, and how I contribute to the system (#resist #maxandbellaaren’tyouproud? #what?thisisn’thowhastagswork?).

Starting now, I will only eat food that is local, organic, and unpackaged*, and food that would otherwise go to waste. (Did anyone else just get hungry?)

I know in my gut (no pun intended) that this is part of my journey: living in a way that respects my body and my planet. Therefore, I will carry on with my mission even more intentionally by giving up some seriously bad food habits along the way and maybe a few pounds?? Please!?? (Could anyone else eat potato chips and chocolate every day of their life? I don’t but…oh. my. gosh. I didn’t even think about chocolate when I made my promise….errrgh, is it too late to take it back??)

All rambling aside, did you know more than 30% of the food produced in the U.S. is thrown out?! And 20% of people in the U.S. face hunger. As Rob says, it looks like we don’t have a food problem in the U.S. but a distribution problem.

So, while I am here in beautiful San Diego, I am going to make the most of what is around me, and spend as little as possible while I do it!

I’d love to hear your thoughts below–what did you find interesting in the video? Do you already eat like this? If so, any tips? Do you think I’m going to succeed or fail miserably? If so, any tips? 🙂

*The meat from the cattle my father raises on his farm in Colorado is packaged in plastic wrap and butcher’s paper. It is the freshest and best quality beef one could find in this day and age in the U.S. Like hell will I skip out on eating that anytime I am back in Colorado.

Happy Taco Tuesday, everyone! I guess that’s going to be my first REAL test tomorrow!

~Bean

Bike Tour Delayed, Mission in Progress

August 6, 2018 By Bean 2 Comments

I’ve been in San Diego for 15 days now working towards the goal of empowering Native American women through self-defense with Lindsey.

Some of you know about our initial plan to build our own bikes–well, trust me when I say I have enough to learn right now, and I want someone who really knows what he is doing to build the very transportation on which I will rely. Still, we spent a full day in the shop learning everything we could about operating, maintaining, and repairing our used bikes. I am excited to become a proficient cyclist in the near future!

SONY DSC

Some of you are also aware that I was planning on volunteering for an established non-profit organization–but…Plot Twist!

That organization, like many startups that don’t have the right support–not enough media appeal to get funding??? No, self-defense isn’t glamorous, but, seriously people, think about what We choose to spend our money on… the things we consume thoughtlessly while others struggle to acquire basic needs like safety and healthy food… and the countless positive things we avoid investing in, do SO much harm to others. This mindless, consumerist system is the most selfish and harmful thing a species has ever done to its own kind. We call ourselves the most advanced species? Think about–wait, what was I saying?

Oh yeah– That organization, with its wonderful intentions and limited resources, was not in a place to accept our help. Sounds weird, right? To not accept help? Well, unexpected things happen a lot in life, so…here’s our response:

We will not be thrown off our mission. Women need us. The Native Nations need us. America needs us. We will apply all we know and learn all we can to move ahead with re-empowering Native women through self-defense.

We already have some interesting plans in the works, but we are new at this work, so if you have any ideas or anything to contribute, please reach out!

Of course, this delay also means postponing the bike-tour, but I have committed to riding my bike as much as possible–It will be my main form of transportation…up until today I treated it more like a new toy.

I will keep posting updates on our progress, and I also plan on keeping track of the costs of this adventure. What does it cost to quit a full-time job with benefits to go volunteer? What does it cost to live with family (rent free in half of a bedroom at the moment) and ride a bike instead of drive a car? Is it going to be worth the financial savings… or will I lose the peace I’ve gained from living two years by myself? What is my own space really worth? What does it cost to give up security for a dream?…And as we will find out together…..what will I gain?

Comment below with any cycling tips or words of encouragement to keep us powered through our mission!

About Working Out

May 6, 2017 By Bean Leave a Comment

My best friend/soul sister has been telling me about this online workout for years. It is how she got into shape when preparing to join the Navy Seals, and it’s what she used again recently in preparing to become a self-defense coach.

I’m going to be totally honest: I have not taken working out seriously in a loooooong time. Ok, ever. Even in high school, while I loved playing volleyball and basketball, I hated the running and conditioning. Despite all the good stuff I hear about working out and how much I like looking at people who are in good shape and want to look like them…the most exercise I tend to do is dancing around my house when I’m cooking and cleaning, a few (short) walks a week, and the occasional yoga workout (I was doing much better when I first arrived in Sao Paulo, but work has gotten busier and I just haven’t made the time for it lately).

I have been so, so, so stressed out lately, and getting really bad migraines, so I’m finally ready to try exercise as a solution to all of this. I’ve always carried my family and friends’ stress on top of my own. I’m highly sensitive to the people around me, and love helping others, but sometimes to my own detriment. It’s something I’ve worked on in therapy and on my own for a few years now. It’s still not easy, but I’m hoping that by burning calories and releasing those good endorphins and dopamine that I’m going to find more balance and joy, and less stress in my life.

So, I just did the first workout on this page after a 10 minute cardio warmup of running in place and jumping jacks, and I was only able to do half of what she did–because I’m THAT out of shape! So I’m going to keep working on this first workout until I can do the whole thing at her pace, and I’m going to try to start jogging a couple days a week. I will keep you guys posted.

I would also love to hear what you do to workout, or if there’s a way we can support each other if you know it’s something you need to do for yourself also!

Peace and Love!

Da Bean

About Taking Steps to Support Equity

September 29, 2016 By Bean 1 Comment

It’s strange to think about all the time I spent driving around parking lots searching for the closest spot to the entrance of the store or business. The number of times I drove around the block to the mailbox, or drove from my house to a gym where I paid a membership to exercise, to avoid taking the steps… embarrases me now that I’m living car-free, and gym-membership-free. Instead of taking my time to find a good parking stop, I take walks, I take the stairs (up to my 10th floor apartment) and I take much less for granted.

But this isn’t about me.

It’s about you.

Yes, you. You have the choice to also take those extra steps to make a change for the better. To move in the direction of a better you and a better world. A world where people are treated fairly. Because this whole equal thing doesn’t seem to be working, let’s try fair.

I used to think it was all about equality. That’s what sounds right. It’s what we claim to stand on as Americans, but it’s bullshit. Yes, I want people to have equal access to important things, (clean water, healthy food, safety, love, education–to name a few) but I have become far too aware in my life that people are not, in fact, equal.

from everydayfeminism.com

But everyone deserves just, unbiased treatment. We deserve fairness.

I know my posts are usually sharing about me, my life, my problems, but I’m going to ask something of you today. I’m going to ask that if you have a “box” and you don’t NEED it, that you share it with someone who does.

The United States of America has a long and ugly history of holding down the underdogs, even pushing them down, but it’s time to stop this nonsense. Native Americans from North Dakota are embedded in a fight for equity right now….again….still. Black people are being persecuted for taking a stand….no, a knee…. against the injustice they continue to face, while people like Brock Turner and William Bruce Ray receive preferential treatment for their deplorable actions.

My best friend, Lindsey Tarr, who by no coincidence is one of the most caring and driven people I know, is just one of thousands of people getting involved in the fight for human rights. She is about to embark on a journey to the Standing Rock Sioux reservation to help find a solution to the problem, which stems from energy needs causing a major potential risk in contaminating a water source that feeds into about a dozen states. You can read more about it here on her blog, or here, here, or here if you don’t know much about it YET, or want to know MORE. And please check out the list of things the protesters need to help equip these fighters for rights with stamina and endurance (with a side of hope). Maybe you can’t go join them, but you can help in other ways. And you should help if you are able. Please. If you or anyone you know is interested in getting more involved, please email her directly at lindsey@lindseylouonthemove.org. She is departing on Oct. 8th from San Diego.

I wish she had such a cool vehicle. If you have one of these to spare, please let her borrow it! 🙂

Now, I know that many of you are not passionate about this. I know that not everyone feels called to help with other people’s problems. I know that not everyone was lucky enough to be chosen to attend life-changing and eye-opening opportunities like HOBY, a leadership and diversity experience that fueled my passion for standing up for those who need support. Not everyone has been exposed to opportunities or challenges to make them socially-conscious (herein is a root of the problems), but that doesn’t mean it’s too late, and I know you have it inside you.

HOBY elevated my awareness of the injustices faced by minorities; it inspired me to become a lifelong advocate for minorities, including black people and the LGBTQ+ community–who I had little exposure to/awareness of at that point in my life; my experiences with HOBY ignited my desire to tear down the walls people build around one another in our very own communities, walls we build out of hate, fear, bias (conscious and unconscious) and ignorance. I hope that I might inspire you to gain the same desire

I have learned many times over throughout my life and as a teacher that WE ALL must work together to build each other up if we are going to move forward. So, again, if you have a box and don’t need one, please give it to those who do.

Maybe you have no strong feelings about what’s going on in North Dakota because it’s not going to affect you personally. Maybe you think the media is blowing things out of proportion with any or all of the racially charged issues so many are facing. If that’s true of your feelings, I implore you to educate yourself more by reading a variety of sources and breaking out of your comfort zone. I already shared this article on my facebook page, but this would be a good place to start. Feeling uncomfortable in the face of all of this political turmoil is what I would expect you to feel, (and it’s better than apathy) and it shows me you are capable of understanding where these minority groups are coming from in their dissatisfaction with the state of things in the U.S. right now. And maybe, as you read this, you are thinking that it doesn’t sound like I’m speaking to you; maybe you know someone who does need to hear this–please share it with them. We ALL must help one another to solve these problems. I’m not saying I have the solution, but I believe it’s out there and will be discovered once our walls come down.

I’m going to be following Lindsey’s journey to North Dakota and do everything I can from Brazil to help with this major moment in American history to take one more step towards fairness and human rights. What I’m asking is that you do the same from wherever you are.

In some ways it feels to me like people in the U.S. are doing what I used to do: taking the long way around by car to avoid standing up and doing what’s best…doing whatever it takes to avoid walking towards the solution…making it harder on themselves in the long-run because being comfortable in the moment seems better. Whether you walk or MARCH, go strongly forward in the direction of equity. #NoDAPL