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intention

To my Hive of Strong Women Everywhere

October 23, 2018 By Bean Leave a Comment

This post is dedicated to all domestic violence survivors: Abuse doesn’t have to leave a bruise. Also, you are stronger than you know.

https://www.thehotline.org/

Domestic Violence Hotline #
1-800-799-7233

Dear sisters, friends, friends’ sisters, sister’s friends. Dear mothers, lovers, teachers, dreamers, leaders: 

Today, I call out to you for your collective strength. You are all my hive, without whom I could not be where I am today.

I would give away all of my money, all of my possessions, everything, if it would guarantee that all people after me, every single woman and man, would have an equal say. I would honestly give my life for that. Millions of people already have given their lives, yet without resulting in the ideal We promise: Liberty and justice for all….Land of the free. Still, we do not honor our word; Consider this my first public taking of the knee.

There are people around the U.S. right now being denied from voting. Democracy is dying. We are not doing this properly. Come on, US! In some countries, everyone must vote; in Brazil if a person doesn’t vote, (they may abstain only by appearing on election day and reporting it on their ballot) they endure a small fine and are ineligible for government employment.

Yet here, in a country founded by THE PEOPLE for THE PEOPLE, voter suppression is a very real and systemic problem. I would give my life if it meant putting a stop to that problem once and for all. For Native Americans, for Black people and People of Color, for elderly people, for criminals, everyone should have ease of access to the polls.

I know I cannot fix this problem alone, and nor can it be fixed before this upcoming election. Nothing is immediate. This is why I’m reaching out. I can’t fix this, nor any of the other problems, alone. But I can activate, empower, and encourage other women to raise themselves up out of the shadows so that together we may reclaim our space, and bring up this nation. (But only if all women do this together. White, Black, Indigenous, all Women of Color, we Women must do it together. White Women: we’ve GOT to do better at supporting non-white women.)

I need you, sisters. I need you all. I will give it everything I have.

Right now, my plate is full with many amazing learning opportunities and giving endeavors. I am investing my time in mastering these learnings so that I may be a better ally, advocate, and ancestor.

If you are able to, please invest in me. Send me a note of encouragement. Invite me over for a meal or tea. Come out on your day off and volunteer with me. Refer me to your friends and neighbors to hire me for English tutoring or babysitting or dog-sitting jobs so I may continue to have some flexible income. Make an online donation to my gofundme page. OR simply send me a good thought. I’m sending you one, right now.

To all the strong women before me, with me, and after me: Thank you. I love you.

#whyIkneel #votersuppression #vote #votethemout #womensupportingwomen

Filed Under: News, Teaching Tagged With: encourage, growing, happiness, intention, learning, sisters, support, teaching, women

Learning the Gears

August 9, 2018 By Bean Leave a Comment

They say about riding bikes, you never forget, but what if you’re 31 and never really learned in the first place? And what if the bike has 24 gears?! Eek!

It’s one thing to pedal up and down mostly straight, flat roads, but we’re not in Weldona anymore. Navigating 24 gears in San Diego county is a whole different animal. But, this is the Tour of Hope, after all, so let’s remain hopeful!

I will start by saying Z is way stronger than I am. She’s been running and exercising regularly for most of her adult life. Me? My exercise comes in the form of need-inspired walking, sporadic stationary biking (no shifting required), the occasional strength circuit, periodic bouts of yoga, and isolated incidents of bedroom calisthenics. My quads and hammies are not up for all this pedaling, but they’re getting there!

We’re making rookie mistakes, for sure, as we cruise up and down the hills in La Mesa. Accidentally going up hill in high gear, not shifting down soon enough before the hill, skipping gears when we don’t mean to. Still trying to figure out the trick in timing to take that sweet momentum off the hill up the next one while being in the best gear….not quite there yet.

So far, an 8-mile round trip is the longest ride we’ve done, and it truly filled us with hope. I took my time on the hills, was patient with myself, and never had to walk the bike, so that’s a success! It’s still a long way to go before we head out to a powwow 140 miles away next month, but we’re going to make it.

Despite the unforeseen plot twist, we are still planning to attend the upcoming powwows around San Diego and LA. We will volunteer at these traditional events to gain a better understanding of each community and seek input from the elders and other community leaders about how our program can help meet their needs. This will be invaluable experience to inform our program development.

Additionally, I begin my own self-defense training tomorrow! Z is already a trained instructor, but I will be investing my time in learning combination martial arts, defense-based kickboxing, and whatever else I can fit into my schedule next to the bike training.  

Something else we are working on is finding a piece of land for a workshop space. Or rather a person who owns land they’d like an office and garden on. We will build a small, sustainable, office/living space from reclaimed materials, complete with a rainwater filtration system and garden and compost system, if they like, which we will build, maintain, and leave the landowner with once we no longer need it…we just need someone in San Diego with the right space and the interest and willingness to let us work there for no exchange of money. Please let my know if you are or know of such a person.

So, I’m super hopeful about that, and look forward to building a tiny office in the near future!

It turns out that starting your own non-profit/service-based program is a lot like learning to ride a bike!

Filed Under: News, Teaching Tagged With: biking, growing, happiness, intention, learning, self-defense, support

Giving up to carry on

August 7, 2018 By Bean Leave a Comment

Hello friends,

I just watched this cool video from a man I look up to a lot. He reminded me that I am currently living in the state which produces more food than any other state in the U.S!

This and some other things Rob Greenfield touches on in this episode have inspired me to change how I eat, and how I contribute to the system (#resist #maxandbellaaren’tyouproud? #what?thisisn’thowhastagswork?).

Starting now, I will only eat food that is local, organic, and unpackaged*, and food that would otherwise go to waste. (Did anyone else just get hungry?)

I know in my gut (no pun intended) that this is part of my journey: living in a way that respects my body and my planet. Therefore, I will carry on with my mission even more intentionally by giving up some seriously bad food habits along the way and maybe a few pounds?? Please!?? (Could anyone else eat potato chips and chocolate every day of their life? I don’t but…oh. my. gosh. I didn’t even think about chocolate when I made my promise….errrgh, is it too late to take it back??) 

All rambling aside, did you know more than 30% of the food produced in the U.S. is thrown out?! And 20% of people in the U.S. face hunger. As Rob says, it looks like we don’t have a food problem in the U.S. but a distribution problem.

So, while I am here in beautiful San Diego, I am going to make the most of what is around me, and spend as little as possible while I do it!

I’d love to hear your thoughts below–what did you find interesting in the video? Do you already eat like this?  If so, any tips? Do you think I’m going to succeed or fail miserably? If so, any tips? 🙂

*The meat from the cattle my father raises on his farm in Colorado is packaged in plastic wrap and butcher’s paper. It is the freshest and best quality beef one could find in this day and age in the U.S. Like hell will I skip out on eating that anytime I am back in Colorado.

Happy Taco Tuesday, everyone! I guess that’s going to be my first REAL test tomorrow!

~Bean

Filed Under: Food, Health, News, Self-Love Tagged With: challenges, eating, food, growing, happiness, intention, life, support

About Living with Intention

July 26, 2016 By Bean 1 Comment

Girl, Special, Bokeh, Back, Hands, Blond, Yoga, SportsSTART HERE IF YOU WANT TO HEAR MORE ABOUT MY BACKGROUND AND WHAT INSPIRED ME TO WRITE TODAY: (Skip down if you just want to hear about what’s going on in my travels)

Over the years I have practiced yoga on and off. It started in college, mainly because I thought the instructor was really cute–though I was never “crunchy” enough to catch his attention–but I did learn that I enjoyed the time on the mat, as it was so very relaxing–so much so that I would sometimes fall asleep during savasana. Relaxing exercise was brand new to me, but clearly something I needed. I grew up in a rather stressful household, and my first year in college taught me a lot about what I needed and enjoyed rather than what I had been conditioned to think I needed. (I LOVE my family, and I have a ton to be thankful for regarding my upbringing, but with seven of us in one house, there was often chaotic fighting….over the remote, the computer, the last chicken wing, and a plethora of other things.) Exercise had always been a part of my life, but in more aggressive forms: volleyball or basketball, wrestling over aforementioned remote controls, or maybe a bike ride or a run, never something calm and soothing like yoga. And I quickly learned how much I needed something relaxing like that, just like I learned in college that I didn’t need the TV on to concentrate on my studies.

I’m already getting off subject…carrying on as I tend to. Anyways, what brought me to write today was a yoga video. https://youtu.be/oBu-pQG6sTY if you’re interested. Although I am not a beginner, I am trying to build a new habit, and I am WAY out of practice, so this seemed like a good way to get my body back into the flow of yoga. And what stood out to me during this short workout–other than how weak my core muscles are—was the instructor’s word, “Intention.” This word also came up recently when I walked a labyrinth in Denver about a week before my move to Sao Paulo; both exercises ask that their participants set an intention for their time spent completing the activity. Before walking the labyrinth, you were to set an intention for your meditation, and the same is true with yoga practice. My argument is that we adopt this into our daily lives–into each action of our day. To set an intention for our life. Each day. Every morning. My intention is to have a peaceful day, to listen to one new song, to say hello to a stranger, to smile when I notice I am becoming frustrated—whatever it is, big or small, I believe calling attention to our desired outcomes could do us all some good. It raised your awareness and causes you to act intentionally.

My intention for doing yoga today was simply to feel better, because after a nauseating bus ride home, and eating SOOOOO many calories at my new job today (more on that later!) I knew that I needed to be deliberate when I got home (to my first EVER solo-living quarters in my nearly 30 years of life) to do something to relax. Just to feel better. To breathe deeply, to slow down, and to feel better. I used to smoke pot and put on TV at the end of a long day, or if I had a headache, or when I came home to my toxic ex. But that’s over now, and my intention is to create new habits for myself. My main intention for leaving the country was to push myself to become a better and more complete version of myself, and to leave behind the version of myself I created in order to survive. Survive what, you might ask?…..cropped-119H.jpg

I was in a really unhealthy place for a looooong time. Unhealthy emotionally, and unhealthy physically. I lost myself in a bad relationship for way too many years. Maybe people didn’t know it was bad because I did a good job hiding it (at least I think I did–some people could tell how bad it was even before I knew). I lost my voice, I lost way too much weight, I lost some friends (the best ones are still around–thank Goodness!), I lost a lot of connetions to my family, and I lost faith–in the World and in myself. I lost the ability to trust myself. I nearly lost my love for teaching because the person I was with worked so hard to make me hate my job, my number one passion. Just thinking about how low I was by being in that relationship makes me lose composure as I write this……but I am so thankful that I didn’t lose all my strength, that I hadn’t lost ALL my self-trust and self-worth, that I was able to finally see it for what it was and get myself out of an extremely unhealthy and toxic environment. For any of you out there who have given up hope and feel stuck in a bad place, please know that you can get out of it and get back on your feet. It won’t always be easy, but leaving bad relationships (romantic or platonic–toxic is toxic) is necessary for you to feel good again. (And you can’t change people unless they want to change.) I’m not saying it will be easy…..I mean, just that 30 minute yoga routine was not easy, but I did it because it fulfilled my intention. And I left a marriage because I realized my true intention for life: to be happy. The hard stuff is what makes us better. No pain, no gain.

And although my transition into my new life in Brazil has been nearly pain free (not the saying goodbye part—that was hard and painful as hell), it is hard. It is hard to adjust to a new life, and I’m going to have many hard parts of this journey to discuss later, but, if you are still with me, the following is going to be about my AMAZING new school where I will have the pleasure of teaching (and eating) for the next two years. Summer Break is officially over!

 

Chapel School

Chapel School

START HERE IF YOU JUST WANT TO READ ABOUT MY NEW LIFE IN SAO PAULOJ So, today I got to explore Chapel School. It is a beautiful campus filled with life. The people I will be working with are kind and compassionate and intentional about the culture they create (as was my last school, which was an amazing place to work for the last five years and difficult to leave). The space is truly inspiring and peaceful. It is a K-12 school, which is the kind of school I grew up in, with around 800 students from around the world, which is nothing like the school I grew up in. It is surrounded by a tropical/jungle-like environment. I have heard that monkeys will run across the window-sills outside, just like squirrels would in Brighton—and I CAN’T WAIT to experience that!! Tomorrow I will explore the grounds some more, but today was more about touring the buildings, and eating. Really, I ate six times today: we were served coffee four times throughout the day, each time accompanied by a variety of baked goods like pão de queijo, powdered donut holes filled with chocolate, some other tasty pastry, and lots of fresh fruit (strawberries, passion fruit, watermelon, honeydew) then later by some mini-chicken pot pie-like-bites- of-heaven. Lunch was (and will continue to be) a buffet of so much deliciousness…salad, roasted and seasoned veggies, a carrot-au gratin that just melted in my mouth, and steak…always steak here. Honestly, with just about every meal—AT LEAST once a day, I have had some tasty steak, sometimes picanha and sometimes other cuts, but always so good. Oh, and there was some tasty caramel cake for dessert at lunch also. I am going to have to work really hard not to put on too much excess weight while I’m here, because everything is SOOOOOO tasty.

IMG_1877

Ok, back to the school…..the buildings are beautiful and really well-maintained. There are two libraries (elementary and high school), two gyms, a fabulous computer lab, a chapel, an auditorium, and lovely classrooms with verandas in the elementary wings. I’m sure I’m forgetting some other important details about the beautiful building, but one thing I have to mention (but failed to get pictures of) is the vast amount of art decorating the hallways. Some student work, and much professional work bedecks the hallways and office spaces, as Chapel hosts a biannual art show and clearly has a focus on fine arts as part of their well-rounded education.

 

Something that I really enjoyed about today’s Professional Development was all of the “Brain Breaks” the admin team worked into the lessons/discussions. I learned that a person’s age multiplied by three is the average amount of time a person is able to sit and focus on something. I learned that I am able to throw a paper ball over my head and catch it behind my back about three times out of ten. I re-learned (because I have experienced this stuff before) that little breaks like this are majorly important and effective ways to re-energize a group of people, and can be used intentionally to create focus and culture in a group of people. Despite the slight dizziness I still feel from the bus-ride home, which I am going to have to learn how to deal with since it will be my mode of transportation to and from work every day, I feel completely motivated, inspired, and energized to go into this year and make a positive impact on my students.IMG_1880

My intention here at Chapel is to continue building positive relationships as a role-model for teenagers, to continue inspiring a love for writing and reading, and to grow as much as I can as an educator. And I know I’m going to need my strength for that, emotionally and physically, so I’m going to keep doing yoga, and I hope you’ll join me, if not on the mat, then in setting an intention for yourself.

 

Filed Under: News, Travel Tagged With: challenges, intention, starting over, teaching, toxic relationships, travel, yoga

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About The Author

Jillian. Jill. Jilly. Jilly Bean. Bean. It helped that I was all legs and full of energy. String Bean, Bouncing Bean. I liked keeping secrets but I loved to spill the beans. Bean Carries On is my garden. A place to cultivate thoughts about the things I care about. I’m a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a teacher, a gardener, a reader, an artist, a cook, and an empath.

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Jillian. Jill. Jilly. Jilly Bean. Bean. And like a seed in soil, "Bean" stuck. Bean Carries On is my garden. A place to cultivate thoughts about the things I care about. I’m a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a teacher, a gardener, a reader, an artist, a cook, and an empath. I want this to be a place where we can learn together, so please leave comments and if there's anything you want to know, please ask!

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